Riiiiiiip.
Posted by pittgirl on 27 Jan 2008 | Tagged as: Evgeni Malkin, Penguins, Random
You must check out this local BMW commercial filmed with some of our Penguins which I found at Deadspin.
It is the worst-acted, cheesiest piece of cheese you will ever see.
Why the hell wasn’t I consulted on this?! You want the Penguins to sell cars for you?
Here ya go:
Colby Armstrong to camera: [ripping oxford shirt off with force, popping every button simultaneously] I’m Colby Armstrong.
Evgeni Malkin to camera: [tearing t- shirt off from the collar down] Привет, я - Евгений Молкин
Sergei Gonchar: [already shirtless] I’m Sergei Gonchar
All together: [placing their hands on their jeans' zippers] Come down to A&L BMW and maybe we’ll take our pants off.
See how easy that was?! I wrote that in like six seconds.
Sure, men won’t really go for it, but who gives a damn?!
SHIRTLESS PENGUINS!!! Holla.
23 Comments »
on 27 Jan 2008 at 2:11 pm 1.unsatisfied said …
ummmmm….
on 27 Jan 2008 at 2:30 pm 2.spoon said …
wow that’s bad.
on 27 Jan 2008 at 2:31 pm 3.bob said …
Well that just almost made me piss my pants…classic
on 27 Jan 2008 at 5:47 pm 4.amber said …
That was the most fantastic thing I’ve ever seen.
If I ever start my own business, I want PittGirl to write all my commercials. Shirtless Penguins could sell me anything.
on 28 Jan 2008 at 8:37 am 5.Judge Rufus Peckham said …
Better yet, PittGirl, you’d sell a hell of a lot more BMWs if you ditched the Penguins angle altogether and had young women ripping off each others’ shirts. And one could say: “Come down to A&L BMW and maybe we’ll take our pants off.”
Sure, women won’t really go for it, but who really gives a damn?!
on 28 Jan 2008 at 8:41 am 6.PittGirl said …
Judge,
If I’m writing the commercial, then Sonni Abatta is going to have to be in there somewhere. Not just any girl will do. These are PENGUINS we’re talking about.
on 28 Jan 2008 at 8:51 am 7.Judge Rufus Peckham said …
PittGirl, I’d even start watching KDKA again, for the first time since they fired Bob Prince, if you could get Sonni to do that on the air. I know that sounds sexist, so I offer up my man Jon Delano to do the same thing, to give the women equal time.
on 28 Jan 2008 at 9:53 am 8.spoon said …
I’m willing to bet that Sonni will do one with the Pens now that Kris Beech is back
on 28 Jan 2008 at 10:07 am 9.unsatisfied said …
kris beech — wtf? didn’t he suck the last time he was here? I know they are trying to fill in for sid being out, but sheesh.
sonni — DEFINITELY.
on 28 Jan 2008 at 10:24 am 10.back in the burgh said …
OMG - that was the worst acting ever. Can you imagine how much $$ they paid for that bad acting. Wow! PittGirl, yours would have been SO much better.
on 28 Jan 2008 at 10:33 am 11.jonesin for Julie Gong said …
now you get Sonni, Stephanie Watson and either Valerie (no relation to Sonni) Abatti or Alison Morris in there…THEN you have a keeper
or for the ladies…Jon Delano, Dee Thompson and John “Gordon” Schumway
FYI…first person to tell me who Gordon Schumway is gets 10 bonus points
on 28 Jan 2008 at 10:45 am 12.sdk said …
ALF. well played.
on 28 Jan 2008 at 11:02 am 13.Pensgirl said …
I dunno about that, PG. Assuming they all have upper bodies worthy of showing off (they may not - a lot of hockey players neglect uppper body work), there’s the whole “blindingly white” thing - especially with Colby!
on 28 Jan 2008 at 11:07 am 14.jonesin for Julie Gong said …
10 pts for sdk…nice work
on 28 Jan 2008 at 11:28 am 15.Brother Anthony said …
I first saw this video on Postgameheroes.com
They post about Pittsburgh and Washington teams, and they accompanied the Pens video with this Redskins-heavy car commercials. Catchy tune!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gD8o9bt-eWg
on 28 Jan 2008 at 3:59 pm 16.honda driver said …
terrible. their agents should be fired. it’s just as bad as the heinz ward commercial.
on 28 Jan 2008 at 4:21 pm 17.sdk said …
are you kidding me? that video is Flynn’s Tire level GOLD. Between Colby’s overacting, Max’s …umm…freestyling, Gonch’s “mastery” of the English language, and Geno’s total obliviousness to the corniness around him, I can’t not laugh my ass off every time I watch it. Their agents should be lauded. Colby and Max’s performance sum up exactly why I love this team.
Now if you want bad, check out Jason Bay’s furniture commercial. Not even unintentionally hilarious.
ps; thanks for the pts, jonesin.
on 28 Jan 2008 at 7:45 pm 18.Jonesin' for Pittgirl said …
What the hell is Maxime Talbot doing? The wicka, wicka, wicka? Is he a RAP superstar? Somebody help me out here, please.
on 30 Jan 2008 at 9:21 am 19.Schultz said …
If you think these are bad, you should see the Eastern Motors commercials starring various Ravens players that we’re subjected to in Baltimore.
on 04 Feb 2008 at 11:10 am 20.Sofa King said …
Wow…that is terrible…embarassing, really. However, I’ll agree with the other posters—it’s not nearly as annoying as the over-the-top Eastern Motors commercials featuring the Redskins…and apparently the Ravens, too.
on 23 Mar 2008 at 9:33 pm 21.Hilander PSU said …
Is it just me or is there something so flamboyant about Max Talbot? I love the guy, he’d definitely liven up the party I’m not having right now, but I don’t think he drives a BMW to impress ladies.
on 24 May 2008 at 11:43 pm 22.stace said …
yeah, the eastern motors one is pretty bad, and i see it all the time on tv since live in maryland/d.c.
on 11 Aug 2008 at 2:05 pm 23.Cheap valtrax. said …
Cheap valtrax….
Cheap valtrax….