Random n’at.
Posted by pittgirl on 13 May 2008 | Tagged as: Ben Roethlisberger, David Conrad, Penguins
1. Explain to me why McDonald’s (or any company for that matter) purchases two giant billboards on Route 30, one immediately after the other, say 25 feet away, with the exact same ad on them. Do they think I’m going to change my mind in the .5 seconds it take me to get from one sign to the next? “Sausage McMuffin?! No thank you very — hey, WAIT A MINUTE! I could totally go for a Sausage McMuffin!”
2. I still love the word “sausages.”
3. Someone asked LaMont how to dress when you get an invitation that says “creative cocktail.”
What kind of pretentious socialite puts “creative cocktail” as a style of requested dress for a party? To me, there should be only seven possible attires that you can put on an invitation: casual, business casual, cocktail, semi-formal, business, black-tie optional, and black-tie. Everything else can bite me.
LaMont gives a long response that confused the hell out of me.
Newfangled dress requirements don’t have to be stressful to navigate. My guess for creative cocktail is something that fuses a less-structured side of evening with a funky sartorial twist. It’s polished but not overly dressy, unexpected but not inappropriate, witty but not self-aggrandizingly over-the-top.
Well, I could argue that going naked is all of those things, so take PittGirl’s advice and teach them all a lesson the next time they ask you to dress in something as absurd as “creative cocktail” attire. Go naked.
4. Here’s a nice look at Maxime Talbot the man, and not so much Maxime Talbot the Geico Caveman. I must say, he sounds just lovely.
5. Continuing on with the Pens, Sporting News has an article that makes you go both “Word!” and “WTF?!” First, “Word!” to:
- This team is destined for success. The Penguins are under no circumstances the evil empire either.
- Pens fans on the whole are the savviest sports fans in the region. I have been through out the region. Trust me. They are already looking to the off-season to see what potential UFAs will be able to plug the vacancies expected to be created with the probably loss of Ryan Malone, Marian Hossa, and Brooks Orpik.
- Penguin fans are, generally speaking, zealous but realistic.
And right after that statement, here’s the big WTF-ie:
It comes from living in a poor city like Pittsburgh.
Oh no he di’nt!
6. And since it is game day, let’s just stick with the Pens. Reader Missy wrote to me:
HOCKEY? WTF? While watching the Dallas/Detroit game I was shocked to see cheerleaders. How stupid. But I would like to see them go out on the ice and perform :-]
Maybe Missy hasn’t ever laid eyes on the Penguins cheerleaders. I know I saw them doing a bow-chicka-bow dance in the stands during the most recent game. Or did I imagine that?
7. This is a GREAT picture of the Duke. He doesn’t even look one little bit fug or gross there.
8. But then there’s this picture where the Jersey makes him the fuggest, grossest fugger ever. Not even David Conrad could make a Flyers jersey look good. In fact, if I happened upon David Conrad wearing a Flyers jersey, I would aggressively rip that jersey off of him and expose his bare chest and maybe run my hands up and down it.
It’s my duty.
(h/t Lauren)
(photo credit)
25 Comments »
on 13 May 2008 at 12:10 pm 1.pghcleak said …
Poor city? Ugh, I am so sick of all the negative perceptions of Pittsburgh. In the U.S., if you’re not in the sun belt, you’re no longer a worthy place to live. Either that or everyone is still mad that we ranked #1 as Most Livable City.
on 13 May 2008 at 12:15 pm 2.Izzy said …
#6. WTF, indeed! When did they sneak in the cheerleaders? Perhaps we can get Steely McBeam to drive them to the next game!
on 13 May 2008 at 12:34 pm 3.Allison said …
My jaw dropped…poor city?!
They are obviously a Philly fan and is terribly uneducated in the ways of the Burgh. I think you would be the PERFECT person to teach them.
on 13 May 2008 at 12:37 pm 4.Allison said …
Sorry…ARE terribly uneducated.
on 13 May 2008 at 12:57 pm 5.Heather said …
My favorite of LaMont’s suggestions is this:
“He also could have gone with khaki pants, a multicolored plaid jacket and a pastel shirt with a skinny bow tie and a Panama hat.”
This outfit conjures up a vision of a fancy gentleman out on the town somewhere in Florida, most likely taking his ladyfriend to get the early bird special.
on 13 May 2008 at 1:05 pm 6.Kat said …
LaMont had a terrible column today about college kids buying clothes for work. Which is fine, but he used the phrase “Brooks Brothers rather than Banana Republic”. As if a.) a college student can afford Brooks Brothers right out of college, and b.) the Banana makes innappropriate work clothes. I have several BR A-line skirts that would beg to differ.
on 13 May 2008 at 1:09 pm 7.Christina said …
Regarding #2, the best reason to own a dog is that it gives you an excuse to buy Snausages.
Snausages!
on 13 May 2008 at 1:11 pm 8.day after next said …
“Penguins fans are, generally speaking, zealous but realistic. It comes from living in a poor city like Pittsburgh.”
Yeah, I said WTF on this one also, but after a second look I think it’s actually a poorly written, very backhanded compliment. Allow me to re-word…
Pittsburgh was brought to its knees following the implosion of the steel industry, and its residents have hung tough, battling back with brute force. Fans have come to expect this same fortitude from their Penguins. Yet, the city’s humbling economic history has taught them to reject the sense of entitlement and self-righteousness often associated with certain other sports franchises. I’m looking at you, Yankees fans.
on 13 May 2008 at 1:37 pm 9.Bram R said …
I think “creative cocktail” means “the sexy cat or nurse outfit you wore for Halloween in college.”
on 13 May 2008 at 2:02 pm 10.minion # 77777777 said …
Pittgirl,
Step into the #7 light!
He is neither Fug or Gross…get over it! At this point all you have heard is rumor and untill he does something to you personally…he is neither fug or gross!
Love always,
The minions
on 13 May 2008 at 2:03 pm 11.unsatisfied said …
“la-MONT! I’m havin’ the big one! ‘lizabeth! I’m comin’ to join ya, honey!!”
fred g. sanford rules.
and, did someone say, “SNAUSAGES?”
on 13 May 2008 at 2:05 pm 12.JamieO said …
To Reader Missy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/kingdafy/2382305551/
So, apparently they do go out on the ice and perform. They must have some sort of special shoes or whatever.
on 13 May 2008 at 2:21 pm 13.Julie said …
My answer to the question on ‘creative cocktail’ attire? The little black dress. Can’t lose! It may not be ‘creative,’ but it certainly works for any occasion.
on 13 May 2008 at 3:05 pm 14.Amanda said …
I love the word sausages tooooooooo!
Which reminds me… I recently made my first lolcat (shut up!) and you might enjoy it…
Don’t forgive to give it five cheezburgerz!
on 13 May 2008 at 3:06 pm 15.Amanda said …
Ooops. Here’s the link:
http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=1088431
on 13 May 2008 at 3:09 pm 16.PittinDC said …
If Banana Republic isn’t appropriate office attire, then I clearly missed the memo. As did the rest of my office. Because every female under 30 has the same Express button ups in my office.. and they are way cheaper than anything in Banana.
on 13 May 2008 at 4:16 pm 17.retiredguy said …
“He also could have gone with khaki pants, a multicolored plaid jacket and a pastel shirt with a skinny bow tie and a Panama hat.”
Sounds like Truman Capote heading out on the town.
on 13 May 2008 at 4:49 pm 18.TC said …
Um, wait. There are at least 7 “BASIC” types of dress? I only know
1. Jeans
2. Nice Jeans
3. Suit
4. Church, but not “suit church”
I would have shown up to the “creative casual” with nice jeans, a blazer, and a t-shirt with a clever joke or curse word. Maybe that’s why I’m not invited.
on 13 May 2008 at 5:37 pm 19.julietc said …
How much do I J’AIME that picture of Maxime that you swiped from facebook?
on 13 May 2008 at 5:43 pm 20.missy said …
Man, thanks to JamieO for the link to the peforming cheerleaders.
I never would have guessed they actually performed.
on 13 May 2008 at 8:23 pm 21.PittCheMBA said …
How can Max Talbot play with a broken foot while Big Ben blames a bad performance on a bogus broken toe?
on 13 May 2008 at 8:39 pm 22.bucdaddy said …
PG, You’re invited to all my parties. And since you seem inclined: Clothing optional.
on 14 May 2008 at 11:49 am 23.maybe not said …
Based on the photos of the attendees of the Carnegie International preview party, at which (coincidentally?) the attire was “creative cocktail,” LaMont’s answer was published two weeks too late. http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08131/879493-460.stm#
on 14 May 2008 at 4:18 pm 24.kkinLA said …
Pittgirl…the cockles of my cold, black heart were warmed by that touching story of Big Ben donating the K-9s to not only our dear ol’ hometown, but to all of the towns that the Steelers played in all over the country? Show me one frickin’ Bengal, Raven or Cowboy who is as generous on the road as he is at home!!!?? I think not…
So, that’s all to say that I’ll forgive Ben for his country bumpkin sartorial, er…splendor. At least his teeth look nice-n-white!
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